Primary Morning Rule: Never Get Between A Queen and His Coffee

[thoreau]

So this morning was just gorgeous out - the blue skies of summer - a slight breeze, dogs playing in the park - everything was going breezy till I got to the coffee shop. I go to a Peets off the main drag - and it's usually five or six regulars which means quick service so that we can all make our train. This morning - however - there were easily 50 joggers congregating who had all come off their morning run.

I got in line - and the woman two positions ahead of me ordered 22 lattes with extremely long specific orders - while managing to be a pushy bitch to the woman behind the counter. Just because the woman serving behind the counter is Asian - doesn't mean you have to repeat everything slow and exaggerated like she's an idiot. but the counterperson smiles it away - and serves the woman in front of me - a quick drip cup of coffee. In the meantime - there are six or seven people in line. As it becomes my turn to get my coffee - a man storms in the front door (obviously part of the running group congregating outside).

"I need to order a bunch of drinks ...." and starts in on his order.

"Excuse me," I said quite nicely actually, "But - there is a line already for-..."

"Oh - I'm with the running group" he says, interrupting me - and gesturing for me to shut up - and then he continues rattling off his order.

Okay - there are few things that piss me off immediately - but he hit three buttons simultaneously. First - that kind of superior "me first, fuck off" attitude - - oh no he di'n't... Second - interrupting me - and THIRD - Missy is getting between me and my coffee which is like getting between a Grizzly Bear and a salmon - you simply don't do it.

My brain then clicked into "how do I handle this" mode....

and ----- 5 4 3 2 1. GO.

"It's really nice that you are with the running group," I say in response, "but of the six or seven people you are cutting in front of, I know at least three of us are hoping to have our coffee and be on the 7:04 Caltrain. I go to the gym every day on my lunch hour - I appreciate excercise. but - you still need to be a big boy and get in line behind everyone else."

and one of the ladies in line behind me, like some scene from a sitcom, says "Exactly." and the rest of the line joins me in giving him the look of death.

He doesn't answer - but harumphs and gets in line.

and even better - the barista gave me my coffee on the house.