unmitigated unmotivated uninspired

Today has been the most unmotivated inactive day I can remember. Dave and I slept in - we went to breakfast - he headed to work (because I'm dating a workaholic) and I came back here to the muffin penthouse and have done nothing. Tried reading - nope. Listened to a little NPR - not really. I even cooked (roasted tomato pasta with tumeric and indian peppers) and nope. no motivation to really do anything. I've always set MLK day aside as a day to do an art project

2005:

larger

2006:

larger

2007

larger

Last year - I was blessed with staph and was flat on my ass on serious meds at MLK day - and this year - I have a serious case of uncreative,unmotivated blah-ness. Now - not a negative blah - simply blah. (dips finger, tastes) Yep - I can't believe it's not blah!

It is so very unusual for me not to find inspiration to do SOMETHING - (kateywalks in the beautiful 65 degree sunshine not withstanding). I'm not sure what it is about. I have this new novel boiling over in my head onto paper (finally) and even that hasn't struck me as something to do this afternoon.


In art school - we were taught that gray is not a colour. LOL. I love that saying. its not a sad negative colour - and it's not a bright cheery colour. Gray is just well - ambivalent and an almost neutral hue but for it's lack of anything in the spectrum. I wrote a paper once - and a poem - about the combination of all the colours ending up being gray - because no colour really won out the argument. not yellow enough to be brown. not green enough to be plants. but simple and true ambivalance. the absence of any colour preference at all.

and that's where I'm at today - unmitigated unmotivated uninspired colourless gray. This is a wierd yet wholly unusual emotional place for me. I am usually spending every day like a kid at Christmas opening presents and celebrating each new taste, sound, conversation and interaction. So I find this place rather unsettling - I simultaneously don't really care if it is or not.