(#86/365) Offerings

"Unfortunately we do not recognize the empty nature of words and we become fixated on them as if they were something real. This is why pleasant words make us happy, and unpleasant words make us unhappy. These reactions are a sign that we believe in the reality of the words" - Kalu Rinpoche

drawing.

so I've been going to drawing group now (minus a week here and there) since December. (three and a half months or so) and I've been down on myself the last couple of times going. My work - what comes out on paper - is nothing like anyone else there.

Most of the guys there crank out a detailed gorgeous piece like this in a ten minute pose:



there are guys there that crank work with even MORE details in a ten minute pose.

so when I spend an evening drawing like this:





well - I do the worst thing I could do - compare where I am in my journey drawing - to guys that have drawn and sculpted with pencil and charcoal their entire lives. This Thursday was particularly bad - for me - because some of the drawings people did were just incredibly beautiful and caught such REAL likenesses. I came away discouraged and feeling terribly untalented.

justforshiggles asked to see my drawings - and said that he liked my work. (HUG!) and he asked for me to explain why this past Wednesday was particularly difficult.

I know that I try to get my fingers wet in just about any creative endeavor and that I can't be a great creative person in every mode or kind of creative expression.

so I'm working on figuring out the lesson of being around such creative people on drawing night - and not beating myself up because my stuff resembles less a deeply detailed rendering but simply naked new yorker cartoons. I really enjoy the comradeship and 'brotherly' feeling of nude drawing group - and it's an important part of my life. I just wish I felt more like a peer sometimes than a parody of the fine work that is going on around me there.

I know this is way more about me than anything else. I've always been the kind that doesn't do something unless I can do it 200%. and I realized a while back how limiting that was - so I've been pushing myself into new areas of interest - even if I'm not the worlds greatest.

but thanks to justforshiggles for the pompom-style cheerup. :) I still have some thinking to do though.

(no subject)

this morning I'm going for my first ever piano lesson.

PORK!

Barbecued Pork Steak with steamed snow peas and fresh bread. A spinach salad with almonds, grape tomatoes, extra sharp cheddar and avocado.



I brushed the pork steak down with Merken Olive Oil. Merken is an hot spice used by the mapuche native people of Southern Chiles Araucania region. Merken is created by mixing red hot peppers (smoked and clay-oven dried), salt, cilantro and cumin. and the grocery carries a Merken infused olive oil. (Yum!) a couple of cranks of salt and pepper and we're off!