defined as....

[thoreau]

I've struggled to find community for the last few years of my life. I had a theater community I hung out with in Boise - but it would end at the end of a production - and I'd have to wait for the next show to have that "community" feeling in my life. Since i moved to SF - I've not really found a community. I joined Leathermen's Discussion Group - and discovered - not really my community. I joined the little gay chorus - and I discovered - not really my community. I went to a Billy Club potluck this past weekend - and I discovered - not really my community.

It has been years since I was in a group that really felt instantaneously comfortable. Where I could just let go and be myself.

In this time in my life that seems to be about self realization and actualization - I realize that community is another part of that. We are social animals after all, right? Community in all of its manifestations is an important part of who we are. Yet - I haven't felt part of a community in a long while.

So, Gentle Reader - what does Community mean to you - and what role does it play in your life?

Comments

[sfmini.livejournal.com]

It means a group of caring individuals brought together by some common purpose providing support and joy for everyone.

What role? None, like you I haven't really found anything that either suits me or has worked out.

[eric-mathgeek.livejournal.com]

Community is, or at least has come to be, simply a group of people who share a characteristic.

Unfortunately people often use this to stereotype all those people into a particular mindset.

I have my own communities that I'm a part of, to some degree: my family. My company. Subsets within the company.

My LJ "Friends" are a community, in and of themselves -- the common characteristics in this case being LJers and *me*.

My RL friends are also a community, though an ever changing one in which some people are more closely involved than other. They are my support group, my discussion group, my book group, my gaming group, my fun group, my movie group, my theater group, my dinner group, my bar group, my play group... etc.

[moved.livejournal.com]

I can't say I've found myself as belonging to a community of any sort for a long time if ever.

I'm a lone wolf in a lot of ways and while I have friends, they tend to be incredibly different from one another and so there isn't a sense of community there either.

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

I think the upfront self-question is "what do I want out of 'community'?" Is is validation? attention? better odds at connecting with people, outside of casual social discourse?

Not to be too un-PC, but if we are honest with ourselves the first two might be pretty important (for any one of us). The final one, though is the long-term benefit, if we are open to listening to and learning from others as well as the converse.

On a tangent, my experience is to dial "gay" and "male" out of the explicit calculus for best results. Do what you are passionate about; friends of whatever gender or orientation will follow.

[brunorepublic.livejournal.com]

I've pretty much given up trying to find any lasting sense of community, for we live in a world without permanence, where most people seem to thrive on some sort of personality transience. I've had brief periods where it seemed to be coming together, but things inevitably fall apart.

It seems that so often one must make many compromises to oneself to join established communities. I have learned that this is self-defeating.

[nudewoody.livejournal.com]

I've always felt like the "other," that is until I moved here in 1982. But now I find that even the community I once knew and felt comfortable with here in San Francisco is policing its boundaries to strictly for my comfort.

Besides, it was Mark Twain who said, "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."

[gryphons-hole.livejournal.com]

It would seem that as time goes on, community is less and less about the greater whole for me than it is about my chosen extended family...

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

Lord, I wrote a whole MA thesis on what community is... How to keep this brief...

Short version? "Community" is a verb, not a noun. It's what we do, not merely what we have -- especially what we do presuming that something called "community" exists, based on the principles in your post & in the comments. If you go looking for community, you may never find it, but if you act in a communityish way (I need a better way to phrase that), you may just end up building it organically.

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

that's been my experience - that a communinity isn't a definable "thing" or "group". I have my tribe of close friends - and honestly - they are my community - even if they are spread to the wind across continents.

[chewtoy5.livejournal.com]

I like bear left's comments, and agree that it's a verb, and what we do, and it's organic.

I know for certain the word has passed my lips a lot in recent years, particularly as it relates to the leather "community". Yet it's strange how my perceptions about community and my personal definition of the word keep shifting in this particular context.

And another thing. I've also concluded that being in a community, any community, and actually feeling kinship, doesn't always guarantee that it will feel good. I guess that's the potential price of any relationship though. It can be amazing and sometimes...not.

By the way...Hello! I've enjoyed checking out your journal recently. Thanks for the interesting post/question about community.

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

And another thing. I've also concluded that being in a community, any community, and actually feeling kinship, doesn't always guarantee that it will feel good. I guess that's the potential price of any relationship though. It can be amazing and sometimes...not.

Great point. One other thing I worked out while studying community is that communities are defined by conflict as much as by what we/they have in common -- and I think those community conflicts feel especially sharp, painful, or alienating because of the presumptions of sameness that seem betrayed.