locked!

[thoreau]

11:00am: So - Joe goes to use my bathroom (which is split - the edwardian toilet room and separate bathroom.) He closes the door and the knob falls out in his hand. In a year living here I've never closed the door. It has locked shut - the hinges are on his side of the door. the knob has fallen out of the door and - - any way to get at the mechanism has multiple layers of paint over it. The landlord has been called and she has dispatched a maintenance - and I'm reading LJ posts to Joe in my bathroom so he doesn't feel trapped. oh dear god - this will be a funny story one day - but right now it's pretty um. insane. You too could fly from Palm Springs to SFO for Christmas only to spend it locked in the toilet.

welcome to my world, folks.

UPDATES:

11:21am:handyman has arrived and is as baffled as we are. We're scraping the paint off the faceplate on the door and seeing if we can remove the faceplate.

1130am:OMG - the handyman is out on the ledge outside the bathroom - pushing himself between the apartment..... talking Joe through getting the door open. OMG. this is insane.

Joe is now out and free but the bathroom window is broken and Joe got cut. shit.

1135am: Cut is minor - looked and sounded worse. (monty python) it's just a flesh wound! (end monty python) I heard smashing glass and Joe announcing he was cut. The handy guy is destroying the 1880s lock on the door. Joe is now free - and prolly on LJ.

12 noon: While Joe does his beautification ritual (without closing a door behind him.... I have started imagining - him using his battle scar to garner "I was trapped" pity all day long. All the cubs at christmas open houses gathered around him - hearing his horrible story of being locked in the watercloset. "I didn't have a laptop or iPhone - I wasn't sure how I'd survive" (collective cub gasp) Oi! LOL!

(giggle)

end of post.

Comments

[mh58.livejournal.com]

Modesty get you trapped everytime!

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

If he is still locked in there a few hours from now, we may get to see him when we are in town.

Have you tried unscrewing the plate on the fixture and pushing out the rest of the mechanism? Once free, you should be able to pull the latch back.

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Ha!!!

I mean, not to make light of the situation, but that's the funniest thing I've heard all week!

Does he have his phone?

Luckily, everyone is safe. You *do* have a second bathroom, yes?

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

the plate on the front of the door has been painted over a good quarter of an inch. and the door is 2" thick. good old solid construction - BASTARDS!

Hopefully the landlord will send over a skilled locksmith of some sort.

If you tire...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

...of LJ-posts (and the "I wish you and yours a happy (Saturnalia/Solstice/etc.)" is wearing thin on the best of us, even those not trapped in an...ahem...WC), you could alway switch it up a notch and surf these (I've not laughed out loud FOR REAL, so often in such a long time):

The "Best" Of Craigslist -- http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

Be sure and keep your eyes out for some of my faves:

"Please don't use certain personal items of mine" (one roomate to another) -- http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/164219542.html

"Rant: From a Pepper Loving African Girl" (if you love spicy food, you'll relate) -- http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/117118185.html

"Please Hear My Prayer" (I think Jebus listens to all of our prayers...and giggles) -- http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/min/232509284.html

Anyway... Enjoy! And if he starts to laugh so hard that he is at risk of peeing his pants? What better place for it, I ask you? It's...it's PROVIDENCE is what it is... [[nods]]

[[snuggs tightly for you, and to pass a share on to Joe, who I don't know, but he must be nice to be welcome in your bathroom]]

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

he does not have his phone or his laptop.

and no - it's a one bathroom flat.

and it will be funny to us - in a bit....

[fallen-x-ashes.livejournal.com]

omg!

The poor dear. Give him a hug from me when he gets out! :-D

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Oh dear.

One thing I don't know about Joe... is he claustrophobic? Obviously this will be much less amusing if that were to be the case.

Its a Very Low Fat Christmas

[bootedintexas.livejournal.com]

well...now what have we learned about bathroom privacy (in the best Mr Brady question voice...)

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

What *was* I thinking?

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

No phone or laptop ... thankfully no claustrophobia either.

Oh, and the HandyCub (TM) was cute. :)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about this, but ... *giggle* ... I hope Joe is fine ... *snort* ... That's really a terrible thing to happen ... *guffaw* .... I am just so sorry, but that is one of the funniest events I've ever heard of ...*hehehe* .. I can't even say, but seriously ... LOL!

You just made my Christmas.

[pinkfish.livejournal.com]

It already is a good story. It's such a good story, that we should have told it last night. Actually, let's pretend we did!

[budmassey.livejournal.com]

Now see, there's where we are different. Usually, when I am confined or restrained, at least I know there will be hot sex afterwards. Wait, was there hot sex afterwards?

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

Joe is my sister. not so much. Perhaps he'll get hot sex later from another source. ;)

"look at my battle scar" pout "sucking my cock would make me feel so much better want to kiss and make it better?"

LOL!

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

W00t!

I didn't think that this was exactly the "Stuck in Robert's can" you were looking for ;-)

Re: If you tire...

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Oh, no.... the best is this:

best of craigslist : Hot zombie sex roleplay - t4w

Re: If you tire...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

Hey I didn't say there weren't *better* ones, in some people's eyes, just that those ones were guaranteed winners in my eyes... ;o)

Hey, you wanna play "dead fuck", I'm game... [[nods and gets out the torn leisure-suit]] It'll be much like topping my ex... I swear there were times I'd thought he'd died... @_@

[budmassey.livejournal.com]

A battle scar is a great pick up line. Let's see. Didn't he get that, wait, I think it was, yes, fighting off a would-be mugger who had a Bowie knife. And he was on drugs. The mugger that is. And big. Really big.

Re: If you tire...

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Ok, but only if Thriller is playing in the background.

Re: If you tire...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

Gods, you old-school-zombie-lifestylers are all about the PROPS, man... Why can't it just about about the "inner zombie headgame" sometimes? Huh? ;o)

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

I have started imagining - him using his battle scar to garner "I was trapped" pity all day long. All the cubs at christmas open houses gathered around him - hearing his horrible story of being locked in the watercloset. "I didn't have a laptop or iPhone - I wasn't sure how I'd survive" (collective cub gasp) Oi! LOL!

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

I have started imagining - him using his battle scar to garner "I was trapped" pity all day long. All the cubs at christmas open houses gathered around him - hearing his horrible story of being locked in the watercloset. "I didn't have a laptop or iPhone - I wasn't sure how I'd survive" (collective cub gasp) Oi! LOL!

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

I have started imagining - him using his battle scar to garner "I was trapped" pity all day long. All the cubs at christmas open houses gathered around him - hearing his horrible story of being locked in the watercloset. "I didn't have a laptop or iPhone - I wasn't sure how I'd survive" (collective cub gasp) Oi! LOL!

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Funny thing... I actually know someone (not on LJ, but probably many SFers know him) who made up a HUGE story about a scar he had on his chest, about how he got knifed by a mugger, and he was protecting a friend, etc. which would be funny/clever if he let people in on the joke, but he allowed them to take it seriously.

I (effectively) live in NYC where that sort of thing *actually happens*, and in fact, happened to my partner (although that was in Brazil). When I realised his story was bullshit, I kinda ignored him throughout the remainder of my trip.