locked!

[thoreau]

11:00am: So - Joe goes to use my bathroom (which is split - the edwardian toilet room and separate bathroom.) He closes the door and the knob falls out in his hand. In a year living here I've never closed the door. It has locked shut - the hinges are on his side of the door. the knob has fallen out of the door and - - any way to get at the mechanism has multiple layers of paint over it. The landlord has been called and she has dispatched a maintenance - and I'm reading LJ posts to Joe in my bathroom so he doesn't feel trapped. oh dear god - this will be a funny story one day - but right now it's pretty um. insane. You too could fly from Palm Springs to SFO for Christmas only to spend it locked in the toilet.

welcome to my world, folks.

UPDATES:

11:21am:handyman has arrived and is as baffled as we are. We're scraping the paint off the faceplate on the door and seeing if we can remove the faceplate.

1130am:OMG - the handyman is out on the ledge outside the bathroom - pushing himself between the apartment..... talking Joe through getting the door open. OMG. this is insane.

Joe is now out and free but the bathroom window is broken and Joe got cut. shit.

1135am: Cut is minor - looked and sounded worse. (monty python) it's just a flesh wound! (end monty python) I heard smashing glass and Joe announcing he was cut. The handy guy is destroying the 1880s lock on the door. Joe is now free - and prolly on LJ.

12 noon: While Joe does his beautification ritual (without closing a door behind him.... I have started imagining - him using his battle scar to garner "I was trapped" pity all day long. All the cubs at christmas open houses gathered around him - hearing his horrible story of being locked in the watercloset. "I didn't have a laptop or iPhone - I wasn't sure how I'd survive" (collective cub gasp) Oi! LOL!

(giggle)

end of post.

Comments

Re: If you tire...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

Hey I didn't say there weren't *better* ones, in some people's eyes, just that those ones were guaranteed winners in my eyes... ;o)

Hey, you wanna play "dead fuck", I'm game... [[nods and gets out the torn leisure-suit]] It'll be much like topping my ex... I swear there were times I'd thought he'd died... @_@

Re: If you tire...

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Ok, but only if Thriller is playing in the background.

Re: If you tire...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

Gods, you old-school-zombie-lifestylers are all about the PROPS, man... Why can't it just about about the "inner zombie headgame" sometimes? Huh? ;o)

Re: If you tire...

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Because all the *real* Zombie Players don't have brains, but if they did, they'd be on FIRE*


(* sorry, that was an in-joke between me and badfaggot about a scene during Inferno one year)

Re: If you tire...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

Then I shall give you the politest of the "golf-claps" of laughter...

"Oh...hmmm...hehe...funny...[[nods]]"

Your chest and general sexiness and wit contiune to amuse me. You may live -- I will allow you in my Zombie-Apocalypse-Bunker... [[nods]]

Re: If you tire...

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

I love you ducky number 2. I'll eat you last.

Re: If you tire...

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

Perhaps it's time to loosen that necktie and lie down... Let the blood return to your *other* head for *just* a weensy bit... [[nods]]