try before you buy....

[thoreau]

So - David turns to me this morning and says if I'd thought of moving to Palo Alto. then right back to his breakfast like it was a no big deal. I told him that apartments for rent here were as or more expensive than San Francisco - and that it made no sense. then he laughed - and said "no - I meant move in here - as in move in together." (okay - so I can be dense sometimes) I think he was caught off-guard with my cautious response. I told him that my relationship experience told me that moving in together is a big deal. With Jon in Seattle, then Boise - - we moved in together after dating for six months; and the first year was very rough; but then lived together happily for five years after that (then two years not so much; but cohabitation wasn't the issue at that point). With my past relationship - cohabitation wasn't the issue either - it was dating someone pathologically incapable of promising to do something - and following through. to the point of almost doing the opposite. So after throwing all that "issues" type stuff out there - he smiled and said that he thought my issues with past move-ins were mute - because they were all different situations. He felt that since we've been solidly dating for over a year it was time to discuss it. He wasn't suggesting May 1st or anything. In the process our chat I suggested a "try before you buy" plan. Meaning - we'd mark a week on the calendar - and I'd "live" in Palo Alto for that week. Moving to Palo would add a 45-60 minute commute both directions to get to my current job. There is also Miss Kate to consider. How would she get walked? fed? loved? etc. So while no date has been set for the 'try before you buy' week(s) --- thats the current plan. I want to do this carefully; I want it to be something we both want and are comfortable with. While the realigned financial setup would be most lovely (living expenses would fall dramatically from car insurance to 1/2 the fees and condo stuff and household stuff here) Dave was very sweet to listen through all my thoughts and worries and excitements. so we'll try the "pretend" week or two - and decide from there. stay tuned, chickadees!