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'The Libido Junky'
Aug. 15th, 2007 07:29 amokay - in the comments from my post the other day about sex and how I'm settling into San Francisco - the incredibly smart (and sexy) ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
badfaggot spoke up with this insightful comment:
I always knew Matt as a smart insightful guy, but this note to me totally takes the cake. It's created quite the brain worm.
I love the term "Libido Junky"! and have been trading emails with him ever since. It makes me realize that sex for sex's sake - just to feed a libido fix - isn't going to get me what I want be it off an online pickup site or at the sex club.
That even when I'm up against the wall in the sex club I have to be present and really honoring the sexual communication I offer rather than making it something casual and easily delivered - thats where the "i feel gross' feelings come after a sex club visit - not because a sex club is a bad place to go to get off - but that I was going to get off or seeking to get off for the wrong reasons.
I shouldn't expect that while I'm re-examining relationships and love in my life......that I shouldn't end up re-examining the role of sex in my life as well. It's so easy in the "candy store" kind of city that is San Francisco to become ruled by the Libido Junky in your personality. So it's given me lots to think about!
badfaggot spoke up with this insightful comment:I love sex, too. I value my sex so much that a few years back I decided that I wasn't going to continue to engage in behaviors I disliked in order to have sex that I knew wouldn't be satisfying. I anticipated that in making decision I would likely have less sex, which has been true. But the sex I have now entails mutual respect, trust and enjoyment, and has enabled me to go to places sexually (yes, even solo) that I would not have been able to otherwise.
I concede that this strategy is not for everyone. Looking at others in my life, I sometimes feel as though I am denying myself overmuch. But I also know that what is healthy for someone else is not necessarily right for me. If I feed my libido junky, my whole person feels like crap -- I'm getting neither what I need nor what I deserve. When I allow my libido to be nourished, on the other hand, I know that I am succeeding in getting both.
I always knew Matt as a smart insightful guy, but this note to me totally takes the cake. It's created quite the brain worm.
I love the term "Libido Junky"! and have been trading emails with him ever since. It makes me realize that sex for sex's sake - just to feed a libido fix - isn't going to get me what I want be it off an online pickup site or at the sex club.
That even when I'm up against the wall in the sex club I have to be present and really honoring the sexual communication I offer rather than making it something casual and easily delivered - thats where the "i feel gross' feelings come after a sex club visit - not because a sex club is a bad place to go to get off - but that I was going to get off or seeking to get off for the wrong reasons.
I shouldn't expect that while I'm re-examining relationships and love in my life......that I shouldn't end up re-examining the role of sex in my life as well. It's so easy in the "candy store" kind of city that is San Francisco to become ruled by the Libido Junky in your personality. So it's given me lots to think about!
