carmuhh ain't got no juice

Went out to start up the carmuhh-mobile (my mini cooper) this morning and ya turn the key and NOTHING. zero. nada. So I called beg1n to tell him I wouldn't be heading to the gym. Mini service doesn't open till 7am. Ugh. I hate care trouble. (loud dramatic sigh)

Dear Dan..... Re: A Classic(al) Moral Quandry

I recieved this letter today from musicbearmn:

Dear Dr. low_fat_muffin:

I have an issue that is perplexing me greatly.

I live in the Twin Cities, home to one of the best public radio enterprises in the nation. They have a classical music station that I will listen to every so often, especially on Sunday evenings for Pipe Dreams.

However, I have a moral dilemma. You see Doc, I'm having an affair with a hip, flashy classical radio station. On the web. In San Francisco. The music choices are out-of-this-world. Their programming is cutting-edge (who would have thought of a series about classical musical artists under 30?! Genius I say!)

I feel like a slut, a musical whore because of this. Am I going to musical hell for this?

(puts therapist hat on)

Dear Gentle Listener:

Thank you for your letter today - regarding your fears of sonic fire and brimstone and feelings of musical exuberation giving you lusty light-headed feelings. Listening to KDFC often brings out this illicit reaction -- but then we are San Francisco and such reactions are hardly illicit here.

Let us first stop with the negative language, shall we?

It's not an "affair" - you are simply spending lazy afternoons intertwined with the enticing casual voices and luscious comfortable notes of meticulously chosen and crafted classical music. Lets consider your time with KDFC - an escape - an island of sanity if you will. (we do!) Surrounding your feelings about KDFC with less naughty indulgence and more - isn't this how classical music should sound every day?

Let me mold this in a steadfast midwestern metaphor - take Palmolive. When a customer of Madge's realizes she's soaking in Palmolive - she has a knee-jerk reaction - DISHWASHING LIQUID? she says, visually worried. Madge - like John Evans or Dianne Nicollini - assures her that it's mild and good for her. So that's what I - as your Doctor - and prescribing. Soak in it for a while - KDFC is a mild contemporary to listen to through your day.

If we were a Public Radio Classical format - we'd probably aspire to be like Minnesota Public Radio. Since we're free to find the nuggets of beauty outside of the "classical music professor in your living room" - and are able to embolden ourselves to achieve that zen place of "a casual approach to seriously great music" - it's understandable that you'd wonder - this feels so good - should I enjoy it?

Morning Host Hoyt Smith said when I shared your impassioned plea for help said, "This man should sublimate and share the joy of KDFC with everyone around the world." Now - sublimating or not - I agree with the message of Hoyt's advice. It's good to love KDFC - and it's older brother the classical public radio format.

Now - about you liking Pipe Dreams..........

Tell me about your mother.

Affect

K - my assistant at work - and I were discussing the homeless in SF after my encounter with Granola Bar guy with Miss Kate the other morning. We were having lunch at Flames (a favorite of ours) and they accidentally gave K. two tunamelts. He kept it and handed it to me and said, "Why don't you take this to the park and give it to granola bar guy." and that's exactly what I did. I took the Haight bus home and stopped in the park - and Granola Bar Guy was in the same spot - accept rolling out his stuff for the night - rather than waking up. I said hi - he was washing up in the water fountain. I asked if he remembered my dog the other morning- and he said absolutely. I told him about K. and handed him the sandwich. His face lit up like a fireworks display! "Tuna Melts used to be my favorite. Thank you!" and I left him there to have dinner. When I hired K. back in December - I had no idea the partner-in-crime I was inviting into my life. This is just one of many K. inspired events I've been partial to. He and I share all sorts of conversation on our lunch excursions. I'm one of the first gay men he's ever hung out with - and we have conversations across the board. Today was really fine. Really fine.