Dear Dan..... Re: A Classic(al) Moral Quandry

[thoreau]

I recieved this letter today from musicbearmn:

Dear Dr. low_fat_muffin:

I have an issue that is perplexing me greatly.

I live in the Twin Cities, home to one of the best public radio enterprises in the nation. They have a classical music station that I will listen to every so often, especially on Sunday evenings for Pipe Dreams.

However, I have a moral dilemma. You see Doc, I'm having an affair with a hip, flashy classical radio station. On the web. In San Francisco. The music choices are out-of-this-world. Their programming is cutting-edge (who would have thought of a series about classical musical artists under 30?! Genius I say!)

I feel like a slut, a musical whore because of this. Am I going to musical hell for this?

(puts therapist hat on)

Dear Gentle Listener:

Thank you for your letter today - regarding your fears of sonic fire and brimstone and feelings of musical exuberation giving you lusty light-headed feelings. Listening to KDFC often brings out this illicit reaction -- but then we are San Francisco and such reactions are hardly illicit here.

Let us first stop with the negative language, shall we?

It's not an "affair" - you are simply spending lazy afternoons intertwined with the enticing casual voices and luscious comfortable notes of meticulously chosen and crafted classical music. Lets consider your time with KDFC - an escape - an island of sanity if you will. (we do!) Surrounding your feelings about KDFC with less naughty indulgence and more - isn't this how classical music should sound every day?

Let me mold this in a steadfast midwestern metaphor - take Palmolive. When a customer of Madge's realizes she's soaking in Palmolive - she has a knee-jerk reaction - DISHWASHING LIQUID? she says, visually worried. Madge - like John Evans or Dianne Nicollini - assures her that it's mild and good for her. So that's what I - as your Doctor - and prescribing. Soak in it for a while - KDFC is a mild contemporary to listen to through your day.

If we were a Public Radio Classical format - we'd probably aspire to be like Minnesota Public Radio. Since we're free to find the nuggets of beauty outside of the "classical music professor in your living room" - and are able to embolden ourselves to achieve that zen place of "a casual approach to seriously great music" - it's understandable that you'd wonder - this feels so good - should I enjoy it?

Morning Host Hoyt Smith said when I shared your impassioned plea for help said, "This man should sublimate and share the joy of KDFC with everyone around the world." Now - sublimating or not - I agree with the message of Hoyt's advice. It's good to love KDFC - and it's older brother the classical public radio format.

Now - about you liking Pipe Dreams..........

Tell me about your mother.

Comments

[airporter.livejournal.com]

You, Sir, have far too much time on your hands.

Or far too many creative bones.

Your pick.

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

a mixture of both. :) I wrote it on my lunch-hour.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Hey! A musical WHORE would be getting PAID for dallying with more than one radio station. So your listener's second metaphor is just *wrong*.

As for his first? What's so bad about being a slut? This is what sonic promiscuity is for, gosh darn it! One radio station can't be everything to every man, but two hot radio stations ought to be able to give someone a great deal of listening pleasure.

**There is nothing wrong with musical polyamory!! Free your inhibitions!!**

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

"**There is nothing wrong with musical polyamory!! Free your inhibitions!!**"

Amen! Thattaboy Girlfriend!

unless it's smooth jazz - then. not so much.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Perhaps smooth jazz, in this metaphor, is like being at the leather bar with a) hot friends and b) hot guys you haven't gotten to know or slept with yet, but who seem interesting, but you go home with c) some dude who seems a little TOO eager to put out, even though a) and b) were hoping to have you.

??

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

I love the musical innuendo.

but the a)b)c) makes the order-queen in me want to chart it all out. the roles of different musical formats in a leather bar culture.

(brain-freeze)

[bootedintexas.livejournal.com]

just imagine the new set of hanky codes!!!

[musicbearmn.livejournal.com]

*can't stop laughing*....thank you doctor. I feel so much better.

Now, about my mother....

[philhasablog.livejournal.com]

king.org

[blt4success66.livejournal.com]

*shakes head in disbelief*

Okay, BOTH of you are off your rockers...but I love it!

[althrman.livejournal.com]

Rolling my eyes.......again.........maybe serious writing isn't what you should publish......

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

meaning? :);)