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#2/#365 (Offerings)
Jan. 2nd, 2010 08:44 am"Hear me! In our future lives it will be hard to regain this precious human state, with all it's privileges and freedoms. The moment of our death is impossible to predict. Who can say? Perhaps we'll die tonight."
Day two of quotes from the daily calendar of Buddhist wisdom, Offerings. The book separates the year into blocks and talks about different aspects of Buddhism and life - marking out January 1 to February 11 for "The order of the universe" - covering topics including "the miracle of life, the law on impermanence, the sands of time, unavoidable reality, honoring our unique destiny, and the stages of life.
I spent my 20s convinced, being HIV+, that death was inevitable and why get hung up on it. It resulted in some why worry about reaching 30 - I'm never going to see it - sort of behavior. (drinking, partying, not saving for my future, etc.) then - just as I decided that perhaps life did have other decades - I got cancer in the spring 1998. Talk about a bummer. My first surgery ever was having my left testicle removed along with the lymph system in my groin. It's why in pictures you'll see I lean to the left? its because my ballast is off. (chortle) anyhow - as I have suddenly reached my 40s - now I look forward to my 50's and 60's with great passion and excitement. I save a good 25% of what I make towards retirement; and work at the gym to keep my body in shape that'll do me well as I get older. but I sometimes get lost in a daydream about "perhaps I'll die doing x or y" - I hate how your brain will flash for you as you are driving sometimes - "gosh that would suck if I took this corner to fast and hit that guard rail" or the famous "if I turned to sharply I'd go over that guard rail and smash onto the roadway below" - - that kind of crap just pisses me off. damn you subconscious mind! (shakes fist) I also have experienced watching friends slowly die and transition and guys who are shaving in the morning and are suddenly gone, crumpled lifeless on the floor razor in hand after a heart attack. who knows when the endgame gets played. I try not to be afraid of such transitions - as whether it happens today or 50 years from now - it's going to happen. its a fucked up subject - how do we feel about death and its omnipresence. and its not always realistic to keep the cosmic cheerleaderyness going and forget that it's there. it's like a lifelong enemy you learn to respect and try not to fear so much that it keeps you from living while you can.
Day two of quotes from the daily calendar of Buddhist wisdom, Offerings. The book separates the year into blocks and talks about different aspects of Buddhism and life - marking out January 1 to February 11 for "The order of the universe" - covering topics including "the miracle of life, the law on impermanence, the sands of time, unavoidable reality, honoring our unique destiny, and the stages of life.
I spent my 20s convinced, being HIV+, that death was inevitable and why get hung up on it. It resulted in some why worry about reaching 30 - I'm never going to see it - sort of behavior. (drinking, partying, not saving for my future, etc.) then - just as I decided that perhaps life did have other decades - I got cancer in the spring 1998. Talk about a bummer. My first surgery ever was having my left testicle removed along with the lymph system in my groin. It's why in pictures you'll see I lean to the left? its because my ballast is off. (chortle) anyhow - as I have suddenly reached my 40s - now I look forward to my 50's and 60's with great passion and excitement. I save a good 25% of what I make towards retirement; and work at the gym to keep my body in shape that'll do me well as I get older. but I sometimes get lost in a daydream about "perhaps I'll die doing x or y" - I hate how your brain will flash for you as you are driving sometimes - "gosh that would suck if I took this corner to fast and hit that guard rail" or the famous "if I turned to sharply I'd go over that guard rail and smash onto the roadway below" - - that kind of crap just pisses me off. damn you subconscious mind! (shakes fist) I also have experienced watching friends slowly die and transition and guys who are shaving in the morning and are suddenly gone, crumpled lifeless on the floor razor in hand after a heart attack. who knows when the endgame gets played. I try not to be afraid of such transitions - as whether it happens today or 50 years from now - it's going to happen. its a fucked up subject - how do we feel about death and its omnipresence. and its not always realistic to keep the cosmic cheerleaderyness going and forget that it's there. it's like a lifelong enemy you learn to respect and try not to fear so much that it keeps you from living while you can.
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