Porkchop and the Case of the Exploding Latte

[thoreau]

So I get all spiffed up for a morning meeting - and catch the 755am N Train. It's packed. I step onto the bottom step of the train and the doors shut. The steps put me right even with a perky blonde's mocha - which in the movement of the train - she squeezes and explodes all over my chest and face. Dripping Mocha from my goatee in this particular setting? not so hot.

She apologizes - and in talking to me - tips the cup and pours the remainder of her mocha on my stomach and crotch. Looking back - it was truly comical - and pretty hysterical. but at th time - it was well. not. LOL.

I got off at the next stop - Duboce and Church and walked back home to shower (again) and change. Kateydog gave me the "what the hell happened to you look" - and I headed out for work a second time. I got on Muni and there was a delay in the tunnel - getting me to work finally at 9:30 instead of 8:15.

Ugh! The meeting was wrapping up as I finally arrived. not the best way to start the day. . but - nothing can be done! so :)

Comments

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

But what about the pork chop?

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

thats me silly :)

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

Bullshit! (sorry for the morning profanity.) Don't even joke about that slim. :)

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

:)

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

actually - i had some folks ask me from the tattoo picture if I was losing too much weight. Never thought I'd hear that question.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

If you recall, I said the very same thing a few weeks ago. But then.... :)

[cuyahogarvr.livejournal.com]

Oh you poor dear!!!!
but you're right, it is pretty funny now.
And don't you love it when you arrive at home and your pet's not expecting and you get the "WTF are you doing here look?" like - they've been up to no good the entire time you've been gone?

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

she totally looked up from her nap like "what the hell?" LOL!

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

but she enjoyed the extra peanut butter treat she received....

[cuyahogarvr.livejournal.com]

Cassie cat does that too, and then she just sort of rolls over with that "scratch behind my ears" look.

[cecilgene.livejournal.com]

That sounds like something out of a sitcom! How annoying.

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

it wouldn't have been so messy - had I not been "down a step" from her - so I was in the perfect position to get mocha'd.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

Shame there was not a muni officer where you exited the train so she could have experienced the rather stiff fine for eating/drinking on the vehicle.

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

well - I drink coffee all the time on the muni - but in a sealed idiot proof decantercup.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

Can we say conscientious!

[cecilgene.livejournal.com]

That sounds kinda... dirrrty.

[squalidbear.livejournal.com]

And *that's* why there's no drinking, eating or smoking on muni.

Stupid cunt.

Her, that is.

the wholly inappropriate response that rolled around in my head

[truthfeather.livejournal.com]

The only response that came to me was: "My dear while I do enjoy watersports, this isn't the time and you are not my type."

Re: the wholly inappropriate response that rolled around in my head

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

LOL

[delmarmar.livejournal.com]

Mmm, mocha. Whatta waste; both in the mocha and the lost chance to lap it up.

;)

[qnetter]

Whereas I would just have showed up at work, waved my hand broadly at the mess, and said, "MUNI."

[pdsexton.livejournal.com]

Hugs.....I can think of much better scenarios involving you and milky fluids.

[blt4success66.livejournal.com]

Now, if it was some hawt daddy that spilled on you, what a great way to lead in to a some hawt but terribly written plot line for a porno.

"Oh gawd, I'm sorry." The burly broadchested man said as he reached for his yellow hanky.

Bob looks up, mocha dripping off his goatee and running down his shirt to his well-plumped crotch.

"Um," Bob stutters, "Uh man, it's okay. Shit happens."

The unknown stranger grabs Bob's tie and pulls him up to a standing position. He pulls him close and says, "Why don't you come back to my place, it's the next stop."

....you can figure out the rest.

My talent is so wasted.

[truthfeather.livejournal.com]

Or Bob could discover that the passengers on the muni are members of the bacchante, and the hawt daddy is an avatar of Pan :P
much more efficient- orgy on the muni.

I definitely love how your mind works

[bukephalus.livejournal.com]

No wonder you looked so frazzled on chat this morning. (Yes I can see you!)

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

It's stuff like this that got me to keep a change of clothes at the office. You may say, "Wait a minute! You drive to work!" Ah yes, I do grasshopper, but I see small children in my line of work and so do not always stay out of the line of fire.

I have had 'paediatric baptism' more time than I can tell you. In 20+ years of practice, I've been peed on more times than most men I know into water sports. (And then there are the dumped baby bottles, sticky lollies, exploding bubble gum, and the occasional "I think I gonna be sick!")