But, But. . . who will take out the garbage and scoop up Mr. Pickle's doodies in the back yard!?!
Seriously though, don't give up on them completely, just give them a break. As if they were that pint of Ben and Jerry's stored waaaayyyy back in the freezer. A month or two usually works.
I dunno what it is, bubba, but I'm sorry you have to go through it.
I just visited your website, and listened to your reading from House of Wolves. I also checked out some of your work in web design. I also have the good fortune to have you and some of your extraordinary friends on my mutual friends list.
I am reminded of a young woman in London with whom I correspond online. She's funny, smart, wildly artistic, and insightful. About six months ago, a man broke her heart, her vulnerable, trusting heart, and she tried to kill herself. Now she finds herself in therapy, on medication, and she found herself recently wondering if she wouldn't have been better off had she been successful in her attempt, to which I said, STOP! Look at yourself in the closest mirror and say aloud, "I am FUCKING FABULOUS and I'm about to have a great day." I wrote a poem for her, which I will include here.
Gillian
from a curb in another world she writes to friends she will never see her bright red hair cleverly disguised with a half-worn wig just in case
today she is a witch, or a princess or a ghost haunting crowded streets where she is invisible despite her dangerously green dress
once she sat in her garden drinking tea but lately the flowers are too loud and the smell of moonlight makes her ill
she overhears cats gossiping in the alley shakes her head at their indiscretion and remembers when it was enough to be young and pretty
Now you're not much like Gillian, but You Are FUCKING FABULOUS! You are creative, intelligent, loving, giving, and a bunch of other great things, not the least of which is loved by a great many wonderful people.
Here's what I want You to say; I am loved, I am worthy of being loved, and my love has value. When you know that, I mean really know it, you will either find men who appreciate that, or have the wisdom to avoid those who don't, and in either case, that ain't bad.
I've been in two blockbuster longterm relationships. but since - I have not been able to find someone that can even get past basic dating. Joe and I romanced - and then moved all over together and I was his nurse/caregiver as he transitioned - we were together 4 years - then a year later i met Jon - with whom I was with for 11 years. and we found and had real love - until after 11 years he wanted a younger model. Since that breakup (2004) I haven't had very good luck with men. First the insincere sex addict I moved to SF for after a long distance relationship - then two or three guys since I've dated for a few weeks and for any myriad of reasons - they don't get even into serious dating. (sigb(
It's totally not a matter of not feeling worthy - or not loving myself. and I know I have lots of love in my life - but I really miss having that special man to look after - and who might look after me a little. and I grow weary of putting myself out there for men who find all those things, verbalize them: "creative, intelligent, loving, giving" and etc. - - - but go off and decide to find that particular KIND of love I'm seeking - with someone else.
Is it possible, and I'm just asking as an interested friend, that you are evaluating current potential partners in terms of those two blockbuster relationships?
I have heard that SF is the WORST city in the country for relationship oriented men, but that's purely antecdotal.
It's possible that you've just had the misfortune of meeting a few cads in a row.
I'm in a committed relationship as well, but the few acquaintances I have in Austin are of the serial-dating species. The committed couple that we have met in the past all seem to be from somewhere else other than Austin. Case in point, I'm from the Bay Area and the better half is from Memphis.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-10-31 12:31 pm (UTC)Seriously though, don't give up on them completely, just give them a break. As if they were that pint of Ben and Jerry's stored waaaayyyy back in the freezer. A month or two usually works.
I dunno what it is, bubba, but I'm sorry you have to go through it.
"I am FUCKING FABULOUS."
Date: 2007-10-31 12:52 pm (UTC)I just visited your website, and listened to your reading from House of Wolves. I also checked out some of your work in web design. I also have the good fortune to have you and some of your extraordinary friends on my mutual friends list.
I am reminded of a young woman in London with whom I correspond online. She's funny, smart, wildly artistic, and insightful. About six months ago, a man broke her heart, her vulnerable, trusting heart, and she tried to kill herself. Now she finds herself in therapy, on medication, and she found herself recently wondering if she wouldn't have been better off had she been successful in her attempt, to which I said, STOP! Look at yourself in the closest mirror and say aloud, "I am FUCKING FABULOUS and I'm about to have a great day." I wrote a poem for her, which I will include here.
Gillian
from a curb in another world
she writes to friends she will never see
her bright red hair cleverly disguised
with a half-worn wig just in case
today she is a witch, or a princess
or a ghost haunting crowded streets
where she is invisible
despite her dangerously green dress
once she sat in her garden
drinking tea but lately
the flowers are too loud and
the smell of moonlight makes her ill
she overhears cats gossiping in the alley
shakes her head at their indiscretion
and remembers when it was enough
to be young and pretty
Now you're not much like Gillian, but You Are FUCKING FABULOUS! You are creative, intelligent, loving, giving, and a bunch of other great things, not the least of which is loved by a great many wonderful people.
Here's what I want You to say; I am loved, I am worthy of being loved, and my love has value. When you know that, I mean really know it, you will either find men who appreciate that, or have the wisdom to avoid those who don't, and in either case, that ain't bad.
Re: "I am FUCKING FABULOUS."
Date: 2007-10-31 01:14 pm (UTC)It's totally not a matter of not feeling worthy - or not loving myself. and I know I have lots of love in my life - but I really miss having that special man to look after - and who might look after me a little. and I grow weary of putting myself out there for men who find all those things, verbalize them: "creative, intelligent, loving, giving" and etc. - - - but go off and decide to find that particular KIND of love I'm seeking - with someone else.
Re: "I am FUCKING FABULOUS."
Date: 2007-10-31 01:44 pm (UTC)I have heard that SF is the WORST city in the country for relationship oriented men, but that's purely antecdotal.
It's possible that you've just had the misfortune of meeting a few cads in a row.
Re: "I am FUCKING FABULOUS."
Date: 2007-10-31 02:16 pm (UTC)Re: "I am FUCKING FABULOUS."
Date: 2007-10-31 02:23 pm (UTC)Hm
Date: 2007-10-31 09:48 pm (UTC)Re: Hm
Date: 2007-10-31 09:59 pm (UTC)You know....
Date: 2007-10-31 10:00 pm (UTC)Come the next full moon, what say you hike up the hill and have a good howl at the moon, je?