growth

[thoreau]

"But still. Still bless me anyway. I want more life. I can't help myself. I do. I've lived through such terrible times and there are people who live through much worse. But you see them living anyway. When they're more spirit than body, more sores than skin, when they're burned and in agony, when flies lay eggs in the corners of the eyes of their children - they live. Death usually has to take life away. I don't know if that's just the animal. I don't know if it's not braver to die, but I recognize the habit; the addiction to being alive. So we live past hope. If I can find hope anywhere, that's it, that's the best I can do. It's so much not enough. It's so inadequate. But still bless me anyway. I want more life."
- Prior Walter - Angels in America

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When I moved into this apartment when Rick ended our relationship a year ago - a friend came over shortly after. He said he was sorry that things with Rick didn't work out how I'd hoped they would. and he gifted me a small plant. He said it was a cutting off of a plant a friend had gifted him after a particularly difficult breakup. He said the lesson was - by the time a year had passed this plant (and I) will still be flourishing - but more importantly - growing.

Today is a year since the plant started growing here in the windowsill. It has been a daily reminder of how I'm growing - making it through what is probably one of the most difficult times in my life - and how I can learn from it - and make new things happen for myself - and how to let go of things that didn't really exist in the first place.

Pete quirkstreet spoke up in a comment on my journal that this has been the year for personal growth for me - so it was nice to see the sentiment delivered into my life last February being so noticeable. Here's to more growth.