THE REG-YOU-LUR ULTRA THINS

[thoreau]

Traveling into work this morning on the N Train - there was this lovely young woman - dressed ENTIRELY in pink. pink tennyrunners, pink pants, pink tshirt, and a arctic pink jacket with pink fluffy collar. And she was speaking in a squeaky NY accent - on her pink cellphone. (does the iPhone come in pink? lol) Anyhow - you know how people talk on cellphones - 80db above the comfort level. She talked about dinner plans, what the person on the other end of the line needed to pick up - and how much she hated one of the dinner guests - but had to invite the betch anyhow.

and I thought quietly to myself:

"pleasedontlethertalkaboutfemininehygiene, pleasedontlethertalkaboutfemininehygiene, pleasedontlethertalkaboutfemininehygiene, pleasedontlethertalkaboutfemininehygiene, pleasedontlethertalkaboutfemininehygiene"....

When will I learn that the universe ALWAYS listens - - in her chirpy NY accent, "And pick me up some Kotex ... yeah, heavy flow ... yeah the regular ultra thins ..." then she gets caught off by the tunnel going down behind Safeway and she RAISES her voice "THE REG-YOU-LUR ULTRA THINS" - and then like magic - - - - she realizes she's on a crowded N Train. clips her phone shut and remains silent for the rest of the train ride.

Comments

[bukephalus.livejournal.com]

**Laughs hysterically!!!**


See how you are? Controlling the universe like that!? Shame on you.

Okay, I'm going to the cornfield now.

[txkink.livejournal.com]

"You're a BAD man....a VERY BAD man!" :)

[bukephalus.livejournal.com]

Suddenly your resemblance to Billy Mumy all makes sense now...

[pulsecub.livejournal.com]

clips her phone shut and remains silent for the rest of the train ride

Thank the goddess for small favors...

[deege.livejournal.com]

On the bright side, that "heavy flow" means she's not reproducing at the moment.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

LOL! True!

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

If you had been with a companion, you could have turned to them and said in a stage whisper, (tsk)"See, I told you she wasn't really a drag queen!"

[jhitchin.livejournal.com]

Does your commute get that "not-so-fresh" feeling?

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[tonethbone.livejournal.com]

Nothing out of the ordinary here..and when I lived in NYC..I would always call Pete from the A train and yell into my cell

"...and get some lube ...the gun oil one and make sure we have enough poppers and the big dildo needs a battery can you pick up one? ..yes THE GUN OIL LUBE"...

I bet there was some person like you listening in ..and later writing a post about it

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

That was YOU?

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should start "Overheard in SF" ... ;-)

I tbink it will be at least another generation before either (a) the etiquette of public mobile phone conversations becomes internalized or (b) everyone assumes they have no privacy, ever and behave accordingly.

After all, they're in my public:)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

For my amusement, I often make myself part of the conversation. I start answering the questions the offending cell-phone user is asking .. or exclaiming over whatever they're exclaiming over .. It's very distracting and annoying ..................... and I'm really fine with that:)

[ursusarctos.livejournal.com]

HUGE HUGS! You *are* evil and must be enjoyed!
I'll be using your idea now as needed. It seems particularly bad in restaurants. I'd debated making body function noises or acting like I have Tourette's Syndrome, but this idea makes for even better opportunities to make someone s.t.f.u. :D

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

LOL :) it is a lovely of lovelies isn't it?