thoreau: (DavenMe)
[personal profile] thoreau
So - several folks - after seeing David and I in the background at Tommy and Morgan's wedding Saturday - emailed me or IM'd me "so - when are you and David getting married?" - and my answer is very simple: We are having SO MUCH FUN living in sin - we're in no hurry to get married. So much sin - so little time!

We actually discussed what a wedding ceremony would be like - say "rent the English garden at Filoli and let me arrive in a Cinderella-esque carriage while F15's fly over and a symphony orchestra plays the wedding march while David and his harem of "best-men" would stand at the alter as the throngs of wedding goers wept as the giant over-the-top ceremony proceeded...."

and he said "I think we'll elope instead."

well - oh well - back to living in sin.

Date: 2008-06-23 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moofedma.livejournal.com
OK, so you're not in touch with your inner lesbian... :)

Date: 2008-06-23 07:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enhydrasf.livejournal.com
his inner lesbian is touching herself right now. she'll get back to you in a while...

Date: 2008-06-23 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quirkstreet.livejournal.com
it is your sacred duty as a gay man to get married right away. to as many people as possible! ;-)

Date: 2008-06-23 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madknits.livejournal.com
And to collect china, lots and lots of china.
Preferably in several complete sets.

Date: 2008-06-24 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bearzendurham.livejournal.com
I'm with you . . . it's worth it for the china patterns!

Date: 2008-06-23 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madknits.livejournal.com
When I was a minister and doing lots of weddings, I always told my wedding couples to elope.

None of them ever did.
Most of them later told me they wished they had.

Date: 2008-06-23 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quirkstreet.livejournal.com
My ex Woody is fond of saying that nothing makes shit float to the top of the bowl like a wedding. I always like weddings where that turns out to be wrong, but he has a point.

Date: 2008-06-23 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madknits.livejournal.com
I officiated at two elopements (planned before they contacted me). In both cases the couples were well over the age of consent (one of them both participants were almost 50), so I had no problem.

But I've noticed that weddings often bring out the worst: bride(zilla)'s expectations, the mother's desire to have the wedding she never had (in terms of grandiose expense), obligations to people to include them, and so on. It gets ugly. Dash out for a quiet wedding, and then throw a monster party later.

There were exceptions to this, of course, but I am mindful of one wedding where the bride spent more than I made in a year on her gown, and was divorced three years later.

Date: 2008-06-23 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madknits.livejournal.com
I am familiar with Mr Fulghum's essay. It's one of my favourites.
I had not read before Ms English's sermon. A bit Christly for my theological tastes, but not untrue.

I was lucky that no one ever quibbled over the fee that I charged for doing a wedding, but my friend Libby had one couple that didn't want to pay her the $250 she charged. She just looked at them and said, "If you can afford a $4000 wedding dress, and $2500 in flowers, then you can afford a measly two hundred and fifty bucks for the person who signs the marriage license."

Date: 2008-06-23 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bukephalus.livejournal.com
I can't believe anyone -- let alone several people -- would ask such a prying, busybody, personal question. Sorry, but that's just rude.

Jesus H. Christ. Just because gay people CAN do it, does that mean everybody in California now HAS TO do it? WTF!?

Date: 2008-06-23 08:13 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-06-23 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madknits.livejournal.com
While I agree with you, at least no one is asking them when they're going to start having kids.

Date: 2008-06-23 08:48 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-06-23 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com
poor jesus and his giant mc-M.....

Date: 2008-06-23 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com
honestly - I think a lot of people are just caught up in the excitement of all of it. I wouldn't be too upset - and besides I'm not giving up sin anytime soon - don't worry! Sodomy rocks!

Date: 2008-06-23 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bukephalus.livejournal.com
OK. Can I use my dirty sodomy icon now?

Date: 2008-06-24 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bukephalus.livejournal.com
Oh... I dunno.... This one?

Date: 2008-06-24 12:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com
oh
my
god

you are NAUGHTY!

Date: 2008-06-23 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jhitchin.livejournal.com
Miss Manners suggests that when asked such a personal question, the proper response is, "How soon do you need to know?"

Date: 2008-06-23 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madknits.livejournal.com
A very good friend of mine, who could be Miss Manners himself, always answers with, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that would be impossible." And just uses that answer, over and over and over again, til they finally get the hint. I've done it myself. Aside from driving them mad, it lets them know in no uncertain terms that they've transgressed the bounds of proper behaviour.

Date: 2008-06-23 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com
It sounds like you were channeling Paul and Curtis' (well, Paul's) wedding plans! ;-P

Date: 2008-06-23 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com
yeah - Paul and I think very much alike. (which is frightening and calming at the same time)

Date: 2008-06-23 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Isn't it sad that my definition these days of elopement is when a person with dementia tries to leave the nursing home without permission? LOL!

Date: 2008-06-24 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bearzendurham.livejournal.com
All I've got to say is . . . awwwww. I love sin (and romance).

Date: 2008-06-24 01:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bruinwi.livejournal.com
I've been living in sin with my man for over 30 years. I don't know what I'd do if we suddenly became a respectable married couple!

The prospect of planning a wedding is almost enough to make me glad it's constitutionally denied in Wisconsin.

Date: 2008-06-24 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blondefury.livejournal.com
Can I just tell you how nice the photo looks?! You look happy Robert - really happy.
love to you
k
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