story 3/30
Jul. 10th, 2008 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thoreauokay - so it hasnt' exactly been weekly - but I'm working on it. This little tripperupper came from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
surewood31 who hit me with "With decreasing raw materials and over population, men and women have been banned by the Society for World Preservation from having sex. This has resulted in a completely same-sex oriented society, globally. How does this affect the world's religion, politics and economic status?"
as a refresher - in this post I received 30 ideas in which to frame a 1000 word writing exercise concentrating on conversation and creating a scene without going over the word count.
3/30 - Lunch with the Literati
“With decreasing raw materials and over population, men and women have been banned by the Society for World Preservation from having sex. This has resulted in a completely same-sex oriented society, globally. How does this affect the world's religion, politics and economic status? 1000 words by July 15th. That's it! See you next week," I said finishing my lecture.
I looked up at the lecture hall as the stereotype jock snored in the back seat and the philosophy brown nose trio frantically worked to transcribe my every word rather than take notes.
“Could you repeat the last part, Dr. Cole,” said the bespeckled leader of the brownnose trio with a sparkle in her eye that let me know her ideas about philosophy were extremely work place inappropriate.
The two hours were over and students put their books into their packs and shuffled for the door. I let out an audible sigh as they all left. What is with this with wearing jeans that are half off – and showing your boxers shorts?
Jock boy got kicked by one of his buddies and he jolted awake in his chair. Still laughing his buddies drug him out of the room and on to his next siesta.
I collected my notes and slides and started to put away my computer when she spoke up.
“A completely same-sex oriented society? Just because you like to suck cock doesn’t mean every man has to – now come on I…..”
“Don’t forget it was my advice that saved your blowjob skills and your marriage Ms. BreederPants. How many is that now, five little Johnsons. Bubba must be proud.”
“At least I can sustain a relationship that lasts more than a couple of dates.”
“Yeah – that’s true. But you’d have to agree if you blew him more – you’d have less kids to worry about. You and your Catholic lack of birth control.”
“I have lots of love to give....,” she chided.
“Yeah – your husband has been getting fatter as he gets older and more stupid – YOU need lots of love…”
“Alright, you two,” said a short, round black man in the doorway behind her, “Lunch?”
“Lunch!” Ms. Breederpants and I responded in sync.
“So Roger here thinks the answer to overpopulation is the abolishment of procreative sex – and the establishment of a same sex only society.”
“Don’t tell me you actually said that in a classroom. LALALALALALALALA!” said the third professor covering his ears, “I know you didn’t present that for discussion?!”
My lack of poker face face betrayed me.
“You know that the regents board is already considering yanking your funding next term - - Damnit, I – I’d hate to lose you on staff because you can’t keep rolling out the rainbow in your lectures.”
“It’s a reasonable hypothetical!” I protested.
“Okay – I’ll buy the whole law against procreation. But that it would result in a same sex society? I can’t go there with you..”
“Bill – just think - you could couple up with Smyte in New Languages and buy a cottage…” she laughed.
“You are not helping here,” said Bill sternly.
“You’d make a real cute couple. Nothing would be different than things are now? You’d still be luring after female interns while you end up going home by yourself and wanking. Do you think the law would make THINKING about procreative thoughts a crime? Since the gays would be in the majority – would you have “Breeder Rights” marches and …,” I chuckled.
“Taking a real problem like overpopulation and simplifying it into ‘we’ll all become Nancies’ overlooks the moral and ethical repercussions from having children. Not to mention the sociological, economical stresses it places on our neighbors and healthcare system…” preached Bill.
“Preach It! Thattaboy Girlfriend!,” I teased.
“AGAIN… with the pronouns!” said Bill throwing his hands in the air.
“Don’t hate me because my pronouns are beautiful!”
“Oh don’t worry – we’ve got plenty of other reasons. Like my nickname, mister,” said Ms. Breederpants.
“Well – if your pants weren’t so breederish, Carla,” chimed in Bill.
“You are not helping!” she chirped doing a perfect imitation.
They walked into the cafeteria.
“Oh good! It’s Thursday – Mexican Day,” I cheered, “you know what that means…”
Bill cleared his throat and said with a Scottish accent, “Lunchlady Doris – give me extra chips!”
A splitting image of Lunchlady Doris from the Simpsons cartoon was behind the counter waving at me.
“’ello ‘oGer!”
“Hi Laureen – you know it’s my favorite day!”
A giant burrito platter slapped down on the counter as Laureen started piling on the tortilla chips.
“Thank you doll!” I said, winking at Laureen making her blush.
“You are a shameless whore for tortilla chips. Addict!,” said Carla snatching one of the chips from my plate.
“Better than other vices I can think of – and it has that crunchy flair. I bet crack doesn’t crunch like Laureen’s chips! And you are just jealous – that’s all.”
“I’m not jealous of that waistline, mister” she said pinching an inch in my side.
“All the more to love, baby… come’n’getit,” I snarled.
“No longer hungry. Nope,” barked Bill, “Just the thought of you naked…. O. M. G. I need a barf bag.”
“Look here Mr. Negative-Percent-Body-Fat-I-Don’t-Work-Out!,” I protested. “You lose any more weight and you’ll look thin next to a refugee. Not pretty missy, not pretty.”
Eyeing a pair of math professors across the room, I waved my hand in the air like a wand.
“See? The statisticians club is already circling! Vultures! All of them!”
“Now Roger, how can you say that? Wasn’t your last boyfriend a mathematician?”
“Yes – but the numbers came between us. He was doing algebra while we were having sex, computing vectors and approach angles. It was creepy! But he was cute. Oh well – I am just doomed to be the gay bachelor. Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!,” I said, holding my hand to my head like a silent movie damsel in distress.
“Eat your chips Missy, before we’re ALL sick,” ordered Carla.
“I still think you should run away with Smyte… you’d look cute with mustache burn from all his cockney cooking,” said I mimicking a blowjob in my cheek.
“You are disgusting,” responded Bill.
“Yes, I know,” I said with great satisfaction.
surewood31 who hit me with "With decreasing raw materials and over population, men and women have been banned by the Society for World Preservation from having sex. This has resulted in a completely same-sex oriented society, globally. How does this affect the world's religion, politics and economic status?"as a refresher - in this post I received 30 ideas in which to frame a 1000 word writing exercise concentrating on conversation and creating a scene without going over the word count.
3/30 - Lunch with the Literati
“With decreasing raw materials and over population, men and women have been banned by the Society for World Preservation from having sex. This has resulted in a completely same-sex oriented society, globally. How does this affect the world's religion, politics and economic status? 1000 words by July 15th. That's it! See you next week," I said finishing my lecture.
I looked up at the lecture hall as the stereotype jock snored in the back seat and the philosophy brown nose trio frantically worked to transcribe my every word rather than take notes.
“Could you repeat the last part, Dr. Cole,” said the bespeckled leader of the brownnose trio with a sparkle in her eye that let me know her ideas about philosophy were extremely work place inappropriate.
The two hours were over and students put their books into their packs and shuffled for the door. I let out an audible sigh as they all left. What is with this with wearing jeans that are half off – and showing your boxers shorts?
Jock boy got kicked by one of his buddies and he jolted awake in his chair. Still laughing his buddies drug him out of the room and on to his next siesta.
I collected my notes and slides and started to put away my computer when she spoke up.
“A completely same-sex oriented society? Just because you like to suck cock doesn’t mean every man has to – now come on I…..”
“Don’t forget it was my advice that saved your blowjob skills and your marriage Ms. BreederPants. How many is that now, five little Johnsons. Bubba must be proud.”
“At least I can sustain a relationship that lasts more than a couple of dates.”
“Yeah – that’s true. But you’d have to agree if you blew him more – you’d have less kids to worry about. You and your Catholic lack of birth control.”
“I have lots of love to give....,” she chided.
“Yeah – your husband has been getting fatter as he gets older and more stupid – YOU need lots of love…”
“Alright, you two,” said a short, round black man in the doorway behind her, “Lunch?”
“Lunch!” Ms. Breederpants and I responded in sync.
“So Roger here thinks the answer to overpopulation is the abolishment of procreative sex – and the establishment of a same sex only society.”
“Don’t tell me you actually said that in a classroom. LALALALALALALALA!” said the third professor covering his ears, “I know you didn’t present that for discussion?!”
My lack of poker face face betrayed me.
“You know that the regents board is already considering yanking your funding next term - - Damnit, I – I’d hate to lose you on staff because you can’t keep rolling out the rainbow in your lectures.”
“It’s a reasonable hypothetical!” I protested.
“Okay – I’ll buy the whole law against procreation. But that it would result in a same sex society? I can’t go there with you..”
“Bill – just think - you could couple up with Smyte in New Languages and buy a cottage…” she laughed.
“You are not helping here,” said Bill sternly.
“You’d make a real cute couple. Nothing would be different than things are now? You’d still be luring after female interns while you end up going home by yourself and wanking. Do you think the law would make THINKING about procreative thoughts a crime? Since the gays would be in the majority – would you have “Breeder Rights” marches and …,” I chuckled.
“Taking a real problem like overpopulation and simplifying it into ‘we’ll all become Nancies’ overlooks the moral and ethical repercussions from having children. Not to mention the sociological, economical stresses it places on our neighbors and healthcare system…” preached Bill.
“Preach It! Thattaboy Girlfriend!,” I teased.
“AGAIN… with the pronouns!” said Bill throwing his hands in the air.
“Don’t hate me because my pronouns are beautiful!”
“Oh don’t worry – we’ve got plenty of other reasons. Like my nickname, mister,” said Ms. Breederpants.
“Well – if your pants weren’t so breederish, Carla,” chimed in Bill.
“You are not helping!” she chirped doing a perfect imitation.
They walked into the cafeteria.
“Oh good! It’s Thursday – Mexican Day,” I cheered, “you know what that means…”
Bill cleared his throat and said with a Scottish accent, “Lunchlady Doris – give me extra chips!”
A splitting image of Lunchlady Doris from the Simpsons cartoon was behind the counter waving at me.
“’ello ‘oGer!”
“Hi Laureen – you know it’s my favorite day!”
A giant burrito platter slapped down on the counter as Laureen started piling on the tortilla chips.
“Thank you doll!” I said, winking at Laureen making her blush.
“You are a shameless whore for tortilla chips. Addict!,” said Carla snatching one of the chips from my plate.
“Better than other vices I can think of – and it has that crunchy flair. I bet crack doesn’t crunch like Laureen’s chips! And you are just jealous – that’s all.”
“I’m not jealous of that waistline, mister” she said pinching an inch in my side.
“All the more to love, baby… come’n’getit,” I snarled.
“No longer hungry. Nope,” barked Bill, “Just the thought of you naked…. O. M. G. I need a barf bag.”
“Look here Mr. Negative-Percent-Body-Fat-I-Don’t-Work-Out!,” I protested. “You lose any more weight and you’ll look thin next to a refugee. Not pretty missy, not pretty.”
Eyeing a pair of math professors across the room, I waved my hand in the air like a wand.
“See? The statisticians club is already circling! Vultures! All of them!”
“Now Roger, how can you say that? Wasn’t your last boyfriend a mathematician?”
“Yes – but the numbers came between us. He was doing algebra while we were having sex, computing vectors and approach angles. It was creepy! But he was cute. Oh well – I am just doomed to be the gay bachelor. Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!,” I said, holding my hand to my head like a silent movie damsel in distress.
“Eat your chips Missy, before we’re ALL sick,” ordered Carla.
“I still think you should run away with Smyte… you’d look cute with mustache burn from all his cockney cooking,” said I mimicking a blowjob in my cheek.
“You are disgusting,” responded Bill.
“Yes, I know,” I said with great satisfaction.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 07:02 am (UTC)Yes – but the numbers came between us. He was doing algebra while we having sex, computing vectors and approach angles. It was creepy! But he was cute. Oh well – I am just doomed to be the gay bachelor. Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!
no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 03:50 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 07:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 12:54 pm (UTC)That is the best line!!!
no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 05:01 pm (UTC)