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Aug. 22nd, 2008 09:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thoreau"It's easy to be strong. All you have to do is choose to stop being weak."
-- John Barth, The Floating Opera
Next weekend will be my two year anniversary in San Francisco. Which is hard to believe - but nevertheless true. I remember packing up all my stuff, selling the condo and trekking to SF from Boise with Tommy (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
notdefined). I had such a laundry list of dreams and ideas when I moved here - and for the most part, they've been fulfilled and more.
The first goal was to get back to the gym - and do the Weight Watchers program. I can't tell you the changes that's brought on my life across the board - more energy, better diet, and a real interest in organic foods and holistic health. I am wearing clothes the size I wore when I graduated highschool - and that's simply a tremendous feeling. In the next year - more fitness goals - like reducing my 12 pack to at least a 9 pack - or more if I can achieve it safely. I am also on the new diet and learning to find vegetables and fresh fruits instead of tortilla chips (oh how I love thee!) and chocolate. I can actually go into Cocoa Bella and now have a SINGLE truffle and not want to push the young lady out of the way and eat their entire display. (okay - so I still fantasize about it... but...)
The second goal was to give my career a kick in the ass. I loved my job at Boise State - but there was nowhere to "grow" - nowhere to feel like I was going to develop professionally. Here in San Francisco, the job at the radio stations has exploded my visual creativity and taken my coding and PhP skills to the next level. Every single day I learn something new here - and they take my professional development VERY seriously. KDFC, in particular, is winning national awards - and we keep finding ways to tone that message. I've been on a national design team - to design a new radio station template that we'll implement company wide this fall. (and interestingly enough - KDFC is exempt from the template because it is the only classical station in the network and a lot of the tools/widgets we are installing in the new design don't offer content for the classical format)
The third goal was to find a solid relationship with a liberal minded, sex positive, loyal man I could trust and let my guard down completely with. and I think that I've found that with David - - he simply melts me every time he smiles at me - and I know he cares about everything we share - and the things that I do on my own. (he tells me daily how excited he is to see me back on stage for instance)
but the goal I'm proudest of - was one I did not arrive in San Francisco thinking it was on my list. The move to the city - forced me to face some weaknesses in my armour I'd been ignoring. With the help of a life coach last spring I was able to work through some of the lingering insecurities from the breakup with Jon in Idaho - glaring insecurities and choices which lead me hip deep into the Rickisodetm. And the quote above has been on an index card stuck on my office bulletin board since March of last year. It is easy sometimes - when life doesn't go your way - or deliver immediate results on dreams and aspirations - to put your head down and get in Eyeore mode (don't worry about me - I don't deserve that anyway) - - and it can be hard to escape from. What it took for me - was a conscious choice NOT to be weak minded any longer. I realized that every aspect of my life - I was coming at from a place of weakness or rather, acquiescence. I was sublimating my own needs, wants, desires - - and when I still didn't get the things I thought I was working for - I tried to find out why it was MY fault - rather than holding other people in my life responsible for what they bring to the table (or don't as the case may be).
So - two years into my California adventure - things are going spectacularly.
I love ending days with David. He ends every night by feeling my arms and shoulders and saying that there is nowhere he'd rather be than surrounded by his "big strong boyfriend."
I have re-energized friendships with longtime friends like Brett (septimuswarren) and John (legriz) with new commitment and emotional loyalty. I'm working with a trainer to get myself to the next level.
My professional life is continuing on a strong, confident path. I also find that even here on LJ - I'm finding that conversations go deeper, affection is truly communicated - and there are friends that I simply adore talking with everyday.
It feels really good to choose strength in my life - and have that unstated goal - be the best of all of them. (smooch)
-- John Barth, The Floating Opera
Next weekend will be my two year anniversary in San Francisco. Which is hard to believe - but nevertheless true. I remember packing up all my stuff, selling the condo and trekking to SF from Boise with Tommy (notdefined). I had such a laundry list of dreams and ideas when I moved here - and for the most part, they've been fulfilled and more. The first goal was to get back to the gym - and do the Weight Watchers program. I can't tell you the changes that's brought on my life across the board - more energy, better diet, and a real interest in organic foods and holistic health. I am wearing clothes the size I wore when I graduated highschool - and that's simply a tremendous feeling. In the next year - more fitness goals - like reducing my 12 pack to at least a 9 pack - or more if I can achieve it safely. I am also on the new diet and learning to find vegetables and fresh fruits instead of tortilla chips (oh how I love thee!) and chocolate. I can actually go into Cocoa Bella and now have a SINGLE truffle and not want to push the young lady out of the way and eat their entire display. (okay - so I still fantasize about it... but...)
The second goal was to give my career a kick in the ass. I loved my job at Boise State - but there was nowhere to "grow" - nowhere to feel like I was going to develop professionally. Here in San Francisco, the job at the radio stations has exploded my visual creativity and taken my coding and PhP skills to the next level. Every single day I learn something new here - and they take my professional development VERY seriously. KDFC, in particular, is winning national awards - and we keep finding ways to tone that message. I've been on a national design team - to design a new radio station template that we'll implement company wide this fall. (and interestingly enough - KDFC is exempt from the template because it is the only classical station in the network and a lot of the tools/widgets we are installing in the new design don't offer content for the classical format)
The third goal was to find a solid relationship with a liberal minded, sex positive, loyal man I could trust and let my guard down completely with. and I think that I've found that with David - - he simply melts me every time he smiles at me - and I know he cares about everything we share - and the things that I do on my own. (he tells me daily how excited he is to see me back on stage for instance)
but the goal I'm proudest of - was one I did not arrive in San Francisco thinking it was on my list. The move to the city - forced me to face some weaknesses in my armour I'd been ignoring. With the help of a life coach last spring I was able to work through some of the lingering insecurities from the breakup with Jon in Idaho - glaring insecurities and choices which lead me hip deep into the Rickisodetm. And the quote above has been on an index card stuck on my office bulletin board since March of last year. It is easy sometimes - when life doesn't go your way - or deliver immediate results on dreams and aspirations - to put your head down and get in Eyeore mode (don't worry about me - I don't deserve that anyway) - - and it can be hard to escape from. What it took for me - was a conscious choice NOT to be weak minded any longer. I realized that every aspect of my life - I was coming at from a place of weakness or rather, acquiescence. I was sublimating my own needs, wants, desires - - and when I still didn't get the things I thought I was working for - I tried to find out why it was MY fault - rather than holding other people in my life responsible for what they bring to the table (or don't as the case may be).
So - two years into my California adventure - things are going spectacularly.
I love ending days with David. He ends every night by feeling my arms and shoulders and saying that there is nowhere he'd rather be than surrounded by his "big strong boyfriend."
I have re-energized friendships with longtime friends like Brett (
septimuswarren) and John (legriz) with new commitment and emotional loyalty. I'm working with a trainer to get myself to the next level. My professional life is continuing on a strong, confident path. I also find that even here on LJ - I'm finding that conversations go deeper, affection is truly communicated - and there are friends that I simply adore talking with everyday.
It feels really good to choose strength in my life - and have that unstated goal - be the best of all of them. (smooch)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 04:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 04:55 pm (UTC)Oh, and kick-ass quote!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 09:15 pm (UTC)I think that in your time in SF you have blossomed from an almost split nature (inside and online vs outside and real life) to a single integrated and whole personality with as much to offer the world as ever and almost no bars from truly offering it!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 11:56 pm (UTC)Thanks friend!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 02:54 am (UTC)Glad I am able to offer the perspective! :)
no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 01:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-24 01:11 am (UTC)