wet dog missionary stories....

[thoreau]

Miss Kate and I get up early. David loves his sleeping in. So 730am this morning - the Mrs and I headed to coffee. I grabbed my umbrella and boy am I glad I did. Just as I came out - and untethered Miss Kate to head back to David's - the heavens opened hard. I was under the umbrella but Miss Kate was out in it. About five minutes into it - Miss Kate looks up at me as if to say "oh - yeah - laugh it up pretty boy." wow it rained - and we got home very wet. Me waist down and her dripping wet. I had left a towel next to the door. David - claims to be psychic about tiling the entry way to his condo - he says that he knew that one day - he'd have a big strong boyfriend - and that boyfriend would have a wet dog. He says it so plain faced - its incredibly adorable.

and - now on to mormon stories. Yesterday's encounter with Mormons reminds me of my favorite of all missionary stories. As you know - I lived in Boise for seven years. Boise, Idaho is either conservative Catholic or incredibly Mormon. But - - one of my favorite couples there - were a leather couple that one day were gardening - and saw a pair of missionaries coming down the block - and they raced inside - one - getting ready to receive the missionaries - - the other - rushing to the bedroom to get his leathers on - chaps, vest, Daddy cap - etc. They took the bate - and my friend invited them in - and called to his partner to come meet his new friends. "Daddy" showed up in the room in a spiked codpiece - chaps - no shirt - pierced nipples. He stepped up behind his partner chewed on his ear - then reached around and grabbed his partners nipples very aggressively - to which his partner arched his back and whimpered. Faking "recovery" - he literally says "Daddy - these are my new friends." You can just imagine the discomfort among the missionary boys. then Daddy - without missing a beat - says "oh yes. yes, they will do very nicely. particularly the blond." - with which the two missionaries apparently didn't say excuse me - just both headed for the door. My friends imagine a big red WARNING sign next to their address in a Mormon neighborhood book somewhere. They can tell that story and make it last for 20 or thirty minutes with this subtlety and that. It's awesome!

anyhow - - time to go watch some Rachel Maddow and finish my latte.

Update: check out this interesting chronicle article about former 49ers quarterback Steve Young (great-great-great grandson of Brigham Young) putting a No on 8 sign in his yard, as joebehrsandiego says - the commentary is even more interesting.

Comments

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

That's toooo funny.

Thank you, BTW for the Steve Young piece from The Chronicle. The comment thread - mostly LDS so far - is fascinating.

[badgerpdx.livejournal.com]

(evil giggles) Thank you for sharing.

[abqdan.livejournal.com]

LOL - I did the same kind of thing last summer. We have a security screen, so the front door was open. Bill and I were busy downstairs laying tile, so I wasn't amused to be interupted when the tapped on the screen. Through the screen, the boys told me they wanted to share god with me. I said the cuter one could come in and give me head while the other waited outside, then I'd listen. They declined - and I declined to hear about their god!

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

And they turned down your kind offer to share your god with them.

;-)

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

I'd personally have been all over that offer :)

[kbearblog.livejournal.com]

LOL! and those boys from last night are still shaken this morning from running into one pissed off bear!

[allanh.livejournal.com]

I've been hearing whispers about Steve Young for years. He's pretty cute; would that the rumors were true...

[zedsled.livejournal.com]

OMG, that was too funny. The visual it gave me was just priceless. It reminded me of something I did last month. I was driving to work and took a back way to the parking garage. Going down the sidewalk of this side street were two Mormon missionaries. The typical, late teen-looking, clean-cut Mormon boys in the black and white wardrobe. I was in a school zone, so I was driving slowly. The lack of speed gave me time to notice that one of the boys was making eye contact with me. I don't know what came over me, but a split-second later, I put my tongue up and "caressed" my upper lip with it. I still wonder what, if anything, that kid said to his missionary buddy.

Thanks for the laugh!