questions month (answer #6) for scorpiocub

[thoreau]

#6 - scorpiocub asks "So Bob, take a picture that represents what brings you the most joy in your life and splain it!"



I have to say the thing that brings most joy in my life right now - is coming home to an apartment I love - and that living alone doesn't represent something negative any longer.

Let me 'splain that for you :) (giggle) I'm nearly 41 years old - and of those 41 years - I've only lived alone four of it. and since I came out - living alone - meant - living single - which until the last year had a negative lense on it. When I moved into this apartment I was being decieved by a charming (soon to be ex) boyfriend - who told me I needed my own place so that our relationship could have some space. What it meant was - he wanted to be a whore - and me living with him was cramping his style. So when I realized that I'd moved out into this apartment for one set of reasons then got kicked to the curb emotionally - for the longest few months - coming home here - reminded me of that emotional wound every single day. but - as time passed - and new art went up - and new life experiences happened here... this apartment, my home became my queer muffinated version of Superman's 'Fortress of Solitude' - and I learned only to let people in that I truly valued and trusted. and sometime around the fall - I think it happened around my birthday - - I realized that I was no longer moping about living alone - in fact, I was celebrating it. I now look forward to quiet nights at home without something to do. Miss Kate and I are often snuggled up on the bed - while I do my writing. or I surf the web. or I read LJ.
I love sitting here on the bed - on my quilt. Miss Kate 'll nap and bark in her sleep and chase rabbits.

I guess it's the source of my joy now because it's a testament to how much I've let go of in the last year - and how thats going to help me rejuvenate my spirit and my world-view. and that is a great source of unmitigated JOY.

thanks for the question Colin!!

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Want to ask me question? go here and ask away! Bring-it!

Comments

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

Robert - Thank you for the great (visual and textual) response to Colin's question. It makes me very happy to both see and read this. :)

[coryblank.livejournal.com]

Love your post, Robert. It gives me hope as a newly single guy living alone for the first time in 13 years. I like how you refer to your apartment as your "Fortress of Solitude". A man's home should be his castle. Thanks for sharing!

*Hugs*

Cory

[celtictats.livejournal.com]

What a great picture, you have captured both you and Miss Kate in a moment that looks totally natural. It is one of those pictures you feel you could walk in on instead of having to pose.

[low-fat-muffin.livejournal.com]

thanks handsome :) it is our natural position. although Miss Kate hates my email notification sound and the beeping on the timer on the camera. (the things she has to put up with! LOL)

[scorpioatl.livejournal.com]

Great attitude! I've lived alone for years and I can't imagine having a roommate. So many people feel lost without other people constantly around but for me, the solitude is rejuvinating after dealing with other people's shit all day!

[deege.livejournal.com]

One of the best things about living alone: you can put your feet on the bed!

[bukephalus.livejournal.com]

What a touching and uplifting post. And the photo? Well, uh... *swoon*

I guess that must really be YOUR place cuz you'd never have shoes on the bed in my house!