thoreau

#6 -

scorpiocub asks "So Bob, take a picture that represents what brings you the most joy in your life and splain it!"

I have to say the thing that brings most joy in my life right now - is coming home to an apartment I love - and that living alone doesn't represent something negative any longer.

Let me 'splain that for you :) (giggle) I'm nearly 41 years old - and of those 41 years - I've only lived alone four of it. and since I came out - living alone - meant - living single - which until the last year had a negative lense on it. When I moved into this apartment I was being decieved by a charming (soon to be ex) boyfriend - who told me I needed my own place so that our relationship could have some space. What it meant was - he wanted to be a whore - and me living with him was cramping his style. So when I realized that I'd moved out into this apartment for one set of reasons then got kicked to the curb emotionally - for the longest few months - coming home here - reminded me of that emotional wound every single day. but - as time passed - and new art went up - and new life experiences happened here... this apartment, my home became my queer muffinated version of Superman's 'Fortress of Solitude' - and I learned only to let people in that I truly valued and trusted. and sometime around the fall - I think it happened around my birthday - - I realized that I was no longer moping about living alone - in fact, I was celebrating it. I now look forward to quiet nights at home without something to do. Miss Kate and I are often snuggled up on the bed - while I do my writing. or I surf the web. or I read LJ.
I love sitting here on the bed - on my quilt. Miss Kate 'll nap and bark in her sleep and chase rabbits.

I guess it's the source of my joy now because it's a testament to how much I've let go of in the last year - and how thats going to help me rejuvenate my spirit and my world-view. and that is a great source of unmitigated JOY.

thanks for the question Colin!!

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